The parts people usually leave out.

We spent almost two years being told to relax and give it time. By the time we walked into a fertility clinic we had already convinced ourselves something was badly wrong with us.

The tests came first, for both of us, which surprised my husband. He had assumed the problem was mine because that is what everyone around us assumed. It was not that simple, and knowing that changed how we talked to each other.

Our first cycle did not work. I will not pretend that was anything other than devastating. What helped was that we had been told beforehand that it might not, so it did not feel like something had gone wrong that we were not warned about. The second cycle worked.

What I would say to anyone starting is this: ask what happens if it does not work, before you begin. You need to hear that answer while you are still calm enough to take it in.

I came in expecting to be told I needed IVF, because that is the only thing anyone ever talks about. I had been quietly saving for it for a year.

The assessment found something treatable that nobody had looked for. The treatment I actually needed cost a fraction of what I had prepared myself to spend.

I am telling this story because I nearly did not go for tests at all. I nearly went straight to asking about IVF prices. If I had, I would have paid for something I did not need.